I am a single mother, with a 1 year old little boy. I despise being judged by this fact. Let's just say that I made the most difficult choice I have ever had to make so that my son could have a better life. His father was simply not made to be a father; fortunately, I was made to be a mother. I think it wise to leave that at that...
Single motherhood is all about patience, perseverance, love, and efficiency. You have to be twice as efficient as others to raise a child alone. I can cook dinner and feed Cam at the same time. I can vacuum with a 25 lb toddler in my arms. I can sing a song, dress my son, and change a diaper simultaneously. I laugh at the days when I couldn't walk and chew gum. Tell me my job is easy, then, obviously you aren't a parent. I won't complain, though, my reward is lots of mushed-food smiles and slobbery-wet kisses, not to mention, all the adulation my heart can handle.
But there is much more to me than this simple fact. One could say poetry was my first love. My passion for words began before I even reached the age of eight, and has remained an essential part of me ever since. I could spend hours on end at the library, lost in the eloquent writings of authors far more accomplished than myself. Among my favorite inspirations: Sylvia Plath, C.S. Lewis, Virginia Woolf, Ernest Hemingway, and William Shakespeare. For me, it is easier to pen all that I need to say, than to speak it aloud. I have a quiet voice, but I am proud to say that I have one, nonetheless. I believe that a true poet sees the world in great diffidence from others, with empathetic eyes.
Empathy is so vastly forgotten in our world today, but I have a strong ability to feel what others feel. I pity those who no longer care, who lose sight of the important things in life. We were not meant to be a numb, mindless species. I will take emotion (whether good or bad) over worthless matter any day. I refuse to measure my personal success by the things I own or the people I know or number of degrees. I will measure my success in how well I have lived each moment, how much I have loved, and what kind of mother I am for my child.
I am a hopeless romantic, and a bit of an idealist. I am also, the only "liberal" Christian woman I know. I believe that everyone's beliefs are his or her own, and religion is useless if there is no faith in the individual. I would rather stick my hand in a boiling pot of water than be told what to believe or how to think about anything. This is the very reason I find such freedom in poetry. Self-expression is imperative for the health and well-being of the human soul.
I often take sarcasm to the extreme. This drove my parents to near insanity in my teenage years. Some people think I am hilarious, but those are usually the few instances I am actually being serious. Those are also the times I am happy to say that I have learned laugh at myself. Never take yourself too seriously; even God has a sense of humor. Note: childbirth, it hurt like hell in the moment, but now it is kind of funny to look back on. (I won't go into the gory details, just think that birthing scene from "Nine Months")
I am a walking contradiction. I love roller coasters and hate cars. I love horror movies and despise chick flicks. I love nature, but am not an outdoor person. I love the beach but hate the sand. I love the snow but hate the cold. I love to dance, but am truly terrible at it. I like going for walks, but can't stand going in circles. I hate feeling like I have not gotten anything done, but have a serious procrastination problem. I despise cleaning, but have a tendency towards spontaneous cleaning sprees. Well, you get the picture.
Single motherhood is all about patience, perseverance, love, and efficiency. You have to be twice as efficient as others to raise a child alone. I can cook dinner and feed Cam at the same time. I can vacuum with a 25 lb toddler in my arms. I can sing a song, dress my son, and change a diaper simultaneously. I laugh at the days when I couldn't walk and chew gum. Tell me my job is easy, then, obviously you aren't a parent. I won't complain, though, my reward is lots of mushed-food smiles and slobbery-wet kisses, not to mention, all the adulation my heart can handle.
But there is much more to me than this simple fact. One could say poetry was my first love. My passion for words began before I even reached the age of eight, and has remained an essential part of me ever since. I could spend hours on end at the library, lost in the eloquent writings of authors far more accomplished than myself. Among my favorite inspirations: Sylvia Plath, C.S. Lewis, Virginia Woolf, Ernest Hemingway, and William Shakespeare. For me, it is easier to pen all that I need to say, than to speak it aloud. I have a quiet voice, but I am proud to say that I have one, nonetheless. I believe that a true poet sees the world in great diffidence from others, with empathetic eyes.
Empathy is so vastly forgotten in our world today, but I have a strong ability to feel what others feel. I pity those who no longer care, who lose sight of the important things in life. We were not meant to be a numb, mindless species. I will take emotion (whether good or bad) over worthless matter any day. I refuse to measure my personal success by the things I own or the people I know or number of degrees. I will measure my success in how well I have lived each moment, how much I have loved, and what kind of mother I am for my child.
I am a hopeless romantic, and a bit of an idealist. I am also, the only "liberal" Christian woman I know. I believe that everyone's beliefs are his or her own, and religion is useless if there is no faith in the individual. I would rather stick my hand in a boiling pot of water than be told what to believe or how to think about anything. This is the very reason I find such freedom in poetry. Self-expression is imperative for the health and well-being of the human soul.
I often take sarcasm to the extreme. This drove my parents to near insanity in my teenage years. Some people think I am hilarious, but those are usually the few instances I am actually being serious. Those are also the times I am happy to say that I have learned laugh at myself. Never take yourself too seriously; even God has a sense of humor. Note: childbirth, it hurt like hell in the moment, but now it is kind of funny to look back on. (I won't go into the gory details, just think that birthing scene from "Nine Months")
I am a walking contradiction. I love roller coasters and hate cars. I love horror movies and despise chick flicks. I love nature, but am not an outdoor person. I love the beach but hate the sand. I love the snow but hate the cold. I love to dance, but am truly terrible at it. I like going for walks, but can't stand going in circles. I hate feeling like I have not gotten anything done, but have a serious procrastination problem. I despise cleaning, but have a tendency towards spontaneous cleaning sprees. Well, you get the picture.
Bottom line: It is a wonderful thing to feel accepted, but you will never be happy unless you can accept yourself. I am who I am, and that is enough for me, so I will make no apologies.
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