The Ruse of Equality

A friend once referred to me as somewhat of a "feminist." My personal opinion on this matter is quite different. Yes, I believe in the strengths of woman, but I also believe in the strengths of man. However,we are not equals, for despite the fact that many of our individual abilities can be carefully taught, we are born with genetic predispositions and qualities.

For instance: Sure, with a little strength training, I might finally be able to open that spaghetti jar on my own, or if I were to pursue a higher education and experience, I might land a lead corporate job.. but I will never grow a penis and pee while upright (physically impossible) or even begin to understand the inner workings of the male mind (I may graze the surface, or even comprehend the general "gist" of it, but never, ever will my brain function in the same way as the opposite sex).

..And sure, the occasional man may choose to stay at home with the kiddies and even conquer the arts of one-handed diaper changing, cooking from scratch, and delicately removing mystery stains from white pieces of clothing.. but he will never experience the miraculous growth of a child in his belly or the utter terror of its exit thereof.. nor will he ever manage to maneuver through the complexities of the female thought process (much less come out alive).

It is in our DNA for our natural differences to compliment one another. No, I would not say that one sex is better or more accomplished or even has greater potential than the other. Nor am I proposing that predisposition should constitute following. However, we cannot claim equality or sameness. We possess individual strengths and weaknesses by nature. This does not mean that we cannot grow. One common trait among us all, is an aptitude for change and evolution. We thrive on progression. We must move forward to survive, but in order to do this, we must first embrace our own uniqueness and submit our own pieces to the completion of the puzzle.

Our society has been broken by segregation under the ruse of unity. What irony. How can we accept the cultures, religions, and ethnicity of others if we cannot even accept our own? We allude to understanding, yet "understanding" implies experience. Once we acknowledge the fact that we cannot possibly understand, and take that step towards true comprehension of such diffidence, only then can we learn to value the beauty of individuality.

"The barrier to success is not ignorance, but the illusion of knowledge."-unknown

22 Second Consumption

It seems like the world today is consumed by anger.. anger at our own shortcomings, our own failures..anger at the order of things or the lack there of.. anger at each other, for our differences.. There's a growing impatience for the timing of nature.... Must we all look the same, be the same, think the same, feel the same- to be correct, to be accepted, and to be loved?.. so I state the cliché of the century- why can't we all just get along? Anger is counterproductive.. We will never be happy if futile quarrelling ultimately disengages us..

I feel as though the last 22 years of my life has gone by in 22 seconds.. a second for every year.. and each moment that has yet to pass seems like far too much time to waste.. One of my greater fears is to wake up tomorrow and realize that I did nothing with today because I was crippled by such petulance.. Second only to losing someone that I love..

I want to believe in the good of humanity.. After all, I do believe in love and love is good.. and part of being human is possessing the ability to love.. if only ability could be actuality.. There is peace in the realization that sometimes the lack of success does not necessarily constitute failure, it establishes new opportunities.. And it is possible for mayhem to be the natural order of life.. Differences can be strengths.. And disagreements create growth. Without growth, life becomes nothing more than a slow, antagonizing death.

"How often, for some trivial wrong, in anger we retaliate, we learn, although it takes us long, that life is far to brief for hate." Margaret E. Bruner

I Am Who I Am

I am a single mother, with a 1 year old little boy. I despise being judged by this fact. Let's just say that I made the most difficult choice I have ever had to make so that my son could have a better life. His father was simply not made to be a father; fortunately, I was made to be a mother. I think it wise to leave that at that...

Single motherhood is all about patience, perseverance, love, and efficiency. You have to be twice as efficient as others to raise a child alone. I can cook dinner and feed Cam at the same time. I can vacuum with a 25 lb toddler in my arms. I can sing a song, dress my son, and change a diaper simultaneously. I laugh at the days when I couldn't walk and chew gum. Tell me my job is easy, then, obviously you aren't a parent. I won't complain, though, my reward is lots of mushed-food smiles and slobbery-wet kisses, not to mention, all the adulation my heart can handle.

But there is much more to me than this simple fact. One could say poetry was my first love. My passion for words began before I even reached the age of eight, and has remained an essential part of me ever since. I could spend hours on end at the library, lost in the eloquent writings of authors far more accomplished than myself. Among my favorite inspirations: Sylvia Plath, C.S. Lewis, Virginia Woolf, Ernest Hemingway, and William Shakespeare. For me, it is easier to pen all that I need to say, than to speak it aloud. I have a quiet voice, but I am proud to say that I have one, nonetheless. I believe that a true poet sees the world in great diffidence from others, with empathetic eyes.

Empathy is so vastly forgotten in our world today, but I have a strong ability to feel what others feel. I pity those who no longer care, who lose sight of the important things in life. We were not meant to be a numb, mindless species. I will take emotion (whether good or bad) over worthless matter any day. I refuse to measure my personal success by the things I own or the people I know or number of degrees. I will measure my success in how well I have lived each moment, how much I have loved, and what kind of mother I am for my child.

I am a hopeless romantic, and a bit of an idealist. I am also, the only "liberal" Christian woman I know. I believe that everyone's beliefs are his or her own, and religion is useless if there is no faith in the individual. I would rather stick my hand in a boiling pot of water than be told what to believe or how to think about anything. This is the very reason I find such freedom in poetry. Self-expression is imperative for the health and well-being of the human soul.

I often take sarcasm to the extreme. This drove my parents to near insanity in my teenage years. Some people think I am hilarious, but those are usually the few instances I am actually being serious. Those are also the times I am happy to say that I have learned laugh at myself. Never take yourself too seriously; even God has a sense of humor. Note: childbirth, it hurt like hell in the moment, but now it is kind of funny to look back on. (I won't go into the gory details, just think that birthing scene from "Nine Months")

I am a walking contradiction. I love roller coasters and hate cars. I love horror movies and despise chick flicks. I love nature, but am not an outdoor person. I love the beach but hate the sand. I love the snow but hate the cold. I love to dance, but am truly terrible at it. I like going for walks, but can't stand going in circles. I hate feeling like I have not gotten anything done, but have a serious procrastination problem. I despise cleaning, but have a tendency towards spontaneous cleaning sprees. Well, you get the picture.

Bottom line: It is a wonderful thing to feel accepted, but you will never be happy unless you can accept yourself. I am who I am, and that is enough for me, so I will make no apologies.